last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
