Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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