I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
