I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
