Why are handjobs necessary in class?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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