Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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