1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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