dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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