I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
try to milk me bitch
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
