It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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