We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
