he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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