The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
