Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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