We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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