erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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