What a fucking waste of an outfit
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
