The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
