Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
