What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
