What did we do last night that was yellow?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
