I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
