I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
