im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
