if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
