Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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