at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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