90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
