youre lurking in front of me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
