i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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