WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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