that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
