I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
