Yo dont text me then not text me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
