My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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