when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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