What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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