I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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