I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
