i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize