It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
