dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
