ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize