I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
