your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
