once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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