i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
