dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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