A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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