I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
