you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
