You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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