I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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