I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
