I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
