I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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