who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
