you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I believe in your delicious
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
