Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
