I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
