fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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