Define "chronic" masturbator.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
