He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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