Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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