My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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