I have demons in me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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