I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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