Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
