Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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