I've blown a few things in my day
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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