I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
