I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize